Last night was the night every actor looks forward to.  It is the ultimate awards ceremony for their paramount efforts in the industry of filmmaking.  Sure there are the SAG awards, the Emmy’s and so many others, but for most, if not all, it’s about the Oscars.  And now I will share with you my experience as this epic night rolled out like a red carpet for all.

RED CARPET AWARENESS

If there is one thing I love, it’s when A-listers invoke Old Hollywood.  It’s one of my favorite visual treats and few can really pull it off.  The attitude was one thing, but the style, grace, charisma and flair of Old Hollywood is unique to those who simply have it.  Kudos goes to the always gorgeous Sandra Bullock for knocking the socks off it.  She was absolutely stunning with simple makeup and a gloriously sheer-metallic dress.  Her perfect skin and expertly styled hair hearkened back to the days of lavish private studio parties.  That little statuette at the end merely accented the ensemble.  Other notables on the carpet were Queen Latifah in stunning lavender and diamonds, Kristen Stewart in midnight blue, the Donna Karen-clad Penelope Cruz, and Charlize Theron who stunned in her provocative Christian Dior gown.  Yeah, I know I singled out the ladies here as I was primarily watching them.  Kudos also go to George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, Colin Firth, and Zac Efron for leading the pack with gentlemanly style.

Now as for moments on the carpet, usually the short event goes by with grace and elegance.  Sometimes though, the reporters snag an individual who literally falls apart in front of the camera, either due to nerves, stress, the myriad distractions or because they’re 17, not very experienced, and really have no business being there in the first place.  Miley, I’m looking at you girl and all your caked on makeup to make you look older.  When you get flustered and decide to respond to ridiculous questions, be certain you don’t come off looking youthfully insipid while defending your mothers’ trailer-trash tattoos and to Ryan Seacrest of all people.

THE STEVE AND ALEC CEREMONY

Now let me say that having dual hosts:  BEST IDEA EVER!  It should happen more often.  Both the severely underrated genius Alec Baldwin and the comedy-legend Steve Martin were absolutely hysterical.  Two great minds, one great show.  It could not have been set up better.  This definitely deserved an A for effort.  While there were some minor bobbles in the jokes, some being way too self-serving (yes we know you used to be famous Steve Martin), on the whole the pair worked well together.  It's something the Academy needs to consider for future shows as well.

THE HIGHLIGHTS

Big highlights of the evening were Neil Patrick Harris’ opening musical spot (we knew you were lying on Twitter, NPH), Robert Downey Jr., Tina Fey, and Robert Downey Jr.s’ bow-tie presenting for Best Original Screenplay (writers are mole people, awesome!), an awe-inspiring tribute to John Hughes (thank you Molly, Anthony, Matthew, Judd Nelson and friends), Sandra Bullock’s award acceptance speech (I actually cried a little), and The Dude winning Best Actor (apparently he wasn’t out of his element).

Tops of the night though went to Kathryn Bigelow who dominated with The Hurt Locker and became the first female director to grab that coveted Best Director award and then stole the Best Picture award from ex-hubby James Cameron.  All of these were shining moments in their own right, no matter how much some individuals attempted to drain the fun out of it.  And boy did they try.

THE MISSES

A few bombs were dropped and Ben Stiller was the king of them all.  Poking fun at Avatar should have been a no-brainer and quite easy to do.  Hell, I’ve seen some Na’vi-inspired porn that blew my mind and left my sides-splitting.  Sadly, the funny man behind Tropic Thunder and Meet the Parents couldn’t make it happen.  For shame on the Academy producers for dropping Sacha Baron Cohen, of Bruno fame, from the skit and leaving the poor blue-skinned Ben to ham it up.  I’m certain though they were only concerned about James Cameron’s feelings because they already knew Avatar was going to be beaten out by The Hurt Locker directed by Kathryn Bigelow (Cameron’s ex-wife).  Ouch!

Also, please let Mr. Taylor Lautner and Ms. Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame grow up a little bit, spend some time rehearsing, and maybe have a non-tween hit movie before they embarrass themselves on that big, scary stage.  Please don’t stare at the teleprompter. Use it to guide yourself, not hypnotize yourself.

One thing I have to point out that, surprisingly, pissed me off.  I have nothing but the utmost respect for newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, who was absolutely astonishing in Precious alongside Best Supporting Actress winner Mo’nique.  A virtual no-name who skipped school to audition for the film, landed the callback, then the role, and is now listed in with Meryl Streep and others for a Best Actress award.  An amazing Hollywood fantasy come to life.  But what the hell does Oprah Winfrey, billionaire distributor of homes to the helpless, have to do with anything.  If anything I’ve ever seen was a campaign to milk someone’s future career it was this one.  Oprah, you lost a few points with me.  This was Gabourey’s night to shine.  You didn’t have to hold her up and then make damn certain everyone knew it was you doing the holding.

MY PREDICTIONS…WEREN’T THAT GREAT

Well, previously I listed my predictions for the Academy Awards and I’m here to say, no, I didn’t get them all right.  Sadly, I was only correct for 42% of the awards given.  More precisely, I got 10 out of 24 correct.  Listed below were my predictions and what actually won:

Best Actor: Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker.  No (Jeff Bridges, CrazyHeart)

Best Actor, Supporting: Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones.  No (Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds)

Best Actress: Helen Mirren, The Last Station.  No (Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side)

Best Actress, Supporting: Mo'nique, Precious.  Yes!

Best Animated Film: Up.  Yes!

Best Animated Short: Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty.  No (Logorama)

Best Art Direction: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.  No (Avatar)

Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker.  No (Avatar)

Best Costume: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.  No (The Young Victoria)

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker.  Yes!

Best Documentary Feature: The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers.  No (The Cove)

Best Documentary Short: Rabbit a' la Berlin.  No (Music by Prudence)

Best Film Editing: District 9.  No (The Hurt Locker)

Best Foreign Language Film: The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band).  No (El Secreto De Sus Ojos)

Best Makeup: Star Trek.  Yes!

Best Music, Original Score: Avatar.  No (Up)

Best Music, Original Song: Crazy Heart.  Yes!

Best Live Action Short: Miracle Fish.  No (The New Tenants)

Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker.  Yes!

Best Sound Mixing: Avatar.  No (The Hurt Locker)

Best Visual Effects: Avatar.  Yes!

Best Adapted Screenplay: Precious.  Yes!

Best Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker.  Yes!

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker.  Yes!

My predictions for acting were terrible, but then again, I was inspired by many different things in those actor’s performances.  Jeremy Renner was awesomely real in The Hurt Locker, Stanley Tucci was awesomely creepy in The Lovely Bones.  What can I say, I’m in love with Helen Mirren and always have been.  But the big picks, yeah, I got those down.  Ever since I saw The Hurt Locker, I felt blown away and I knew it to be a shoe-in.  Avatar was an intense and brilliant experience (in 3-D no less), but you cannot compete with the actualization of real-life.  It cannot be done and Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker was as intense as they come.

As far as the others, I spitballed a little.  I barely made it through most of the Foreign Language Films.  White Ribbon was the one I favored because it was the easiest to get behind and it flowed with the best cinematography of the bunch.  Call me paranoid but, it wasn’t that The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus was bad or even that it wasn’t that great, I think the Academy is a little worried of what might happen if such a genius and insane mind as Terry Gilliam’s actually got an Oscar.  The poor man might explode…or implode…or something worse.  Then again, maybe they were trying to distance themselves from the somewhat tainted memory of Heath Ledger and his post-mortem campaign to win last year.  Who knows?

Anyhow, as usual, the night was one to remember and there were some great standouts and some serious failures, but nonetheless, it was an amazing evening full of moments that I won’t soon forget.  I was a bit saddened that, despite the great wins, it failed to raise the bar for the Academy Awards.  It was good, but that was all.  I’ll definitely compare next year’s to this one (and all the previous ones I’ve seen) but hopefully, at the 83rd Academy Awards, they’ll push the envelope, really stoke the creative fires, and stop worrying about little Jimmy Cameron’s feelings if he gets pushed on the playground.

-Jarod Warren